


The Choices We Make

by crowleyhasfeels



Series: Being Human [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal, Blow Jobs, Friendship/Love, Human Castiel, Light BDSM, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-23
Updated: 2016-12-12
Packaged: 2018-05-15 15:52:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5791528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crowleyhasfeels/pseuds/crowleyhasfeels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel is given the choice to stay an angel without Dean in his life or become human to remain with Dean. Does he make the right decision?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Do you know why you are here Castiel?” Simiel asked as he pulled the sack off of Castiel’s head, allowing for him to finally see after days of darkness. Cas had been thinking about this very question from the moment they captured him and began to hold him captive. 

“I am sure that I have committed some kind of indiscretion,” Castiel answered, refusing to make eye contact. Though he knew how the angel’s saw him, he did not like to see it directly these days.“I know that this is something you need to do. I do not hold any anger for you brother.”

Castiel hung his head low. He knew that he had messed up time and time again. He had hurt those around him with his decisions. Whether he believed that what he was doing was right or not, he had done them. For that, he deserved whatever punishment was about to be dealt out to him.

“I accept punishment,” Castiel finally allowed himself to look up at his brother; sorrow etched into his eyes for all that he had done wrong. “I accept my death.”

“I am not going to kill you Castiel,” Simiel shook his head at his brother, pacing back and forth before him. “I am here to offer you a chance to prove your loyalties.”

“My loyalties to who?” Castiel gave a look of confusion. “To you, my brothers and sisters? My loyalties are with you always.”

“Except for when they are with those Winchesters,” Simiel spat the brothers’ name in his face as if they were some sort of sin. “Your loyalties seem to disappear when they call your name.”

“They have earned the right to call for me,” Castiel defended the Winchester, whether or not it was a good idea. “They have saved me time and time again. I owe them.”

“You owe that scum of God nothing,” Simiel threw his hands up in anger. “They are maggots. They are nothing to us. Why you cannot see that is beyond me.”

“Humans are so much more than that,” Castiel defended once again. “You choose not to see that, but if you opened your eyes then you would see what I see.”

“I have had enough of this Castiel,” Simiel pointed an angel blade at Castiel’s face and Castiel knew that he was about to lose his life. “I am here to give you a chance and you are making it hard for me.”

“I apologize brother,” Castiel hung his head once more. “What do I have to do?”

“I am going to give you a choice,” Simiel pulled the angel blade back and brought it down to his side. “I am hoping that you make the right one.”

“I will try not to let you down brother,” Castiel was ready for this to be over, his body hurt. He was unable to heal his wounds and they were starting to blind him with the searing pain that accompanied them. “What are my choices?”

“They are simple really,” Simiel twisted the tip of the angel blade between his fingers. “You can be the angel you were always destined to be or you can become a human. However, if you choose to remain an angel, you must never speak to or run to those Winchesters ever again. If you do, it will cost you your life.”

“So I can live as an angel without them,” Castiel began to weigh his options, though deep down, he knew his answer. “Or I can live with them as a human?”

“Those are your choices,” Simiel agreed that they were, in fact, on the same page. “So what is your choice Castiel?”

“I choose to be human,” Castiel looked up and made eye contact with Simiel. “I choose the Winchesters.”

“Very well,” Simiel showed his distaste for Castiel’s decision. “Let’s see how much your precious Winchesters want you once you can no longer help them.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Hello,” Dean rolled over onto his side as he answered his cell phone. It was not even light out yet, way too early for his phone to be ringing.

“Dean,” Castiel’s voice boomed through the phone.

“Cas?” Dean sat up quickly in his bed. “Where the hell have you been man? I have been calling you for weeks. We have been worried sick about you.”

“I am sorry,” Castiel apologized. “I was held up with something but I am back now. But I need a favor from you.”

“You ignore me for weeks and you expect my help?” Dean asked Castiel, though he had every intention of helping his friend. No matter what had happened, Castiel was still Dean’s friend.

“No, I suppose not,” Castiel’s voice dropped almost to a whisper, realizing that maybe Simiel was right. But whether he was right or not, Castiel stood by his decision.

“What do you need Cas?” Dean sighed, settling at the edge of his bed.

“I need for you to come pick me up,” Castiel turned to the waitress in the diner he had stopped in. They had let him use the phone. “Where exactly are we?”

“Pick you up?” Dean shook his head, even though Castiel could not see him. “Why do you need to be picked up? Cas, what happened?”

“I promise to explain everything when you get here,” Castiel did not want to explain any of this over the phone. “I am in Lincoln City, Oregon.”

“What is in Lincoln City?” Dean asked, even more confused than before.

“Sand,” Castiel looked out the window of the diner. “And lots of rain.”

“I am on my way then,” Dean hung up the phone and quickly got himself dressed.

Castiel waited for hours. He eventually had to leave the diner due to the fact that they were closing. He was lucky they let him stay as long as they did because normally, they would not let someone who was not ordering anything occupy a booth. He would have bought food or coffee, but he was left without any money. All he had were the clothes on his back. He prayed Dean would arrive soon, the hunger was starting to become too much.

Soon the cold set in and even Castiel’s oversized trench coat was not cutting it. He rubbed at his arms, hoping to increase the circulation in his blood but nothing was working. Finally, he found refuge at a bus stop. It did not take away from the cold but the three glass sides, covered head to toe in graffiti, did a good job at stopping the wind chill. It was the most he could hope for in this situation.

By time Dean had arrived, Castiel was asleep on the bus stop bench and on the verge of becoming sick from the cold. Dean shook him, more than a few times, in order to wake him up and pull him to his feet.

“We have to get you in the car man,” Dean stated as he pulled him to the passenger side and helped him slide into baby. “What the hell are you doing out here?”

“Waiting for you,” Castiel stuttered through gritted teeth. He was too cold to open his mouth completely. His entire body was shaking.

“Let’s find a hotel,” Dean suggested, looking up and down the strip of road. There were many hotels, but he needed to find one that looked like he could afford it. As soon as something looked like it would be in his budget, Dean pulled in. He left the car running so that Castiel could stay in the warmth. “I will go get us a room. You stay here. Put your hands up against the vents, it will help.”

Castiel waited as he was told, holding his hands up to the vents in order to warm them up. It was working, except it was not warming the rest of his body. It made his hands feel as if they were not his, they did not fit in with the rest of him. He was already regretting becoming human. He had been human before but there had always been hope of being an angel again and so he fought on and things did not look as glum. Now he was human for good and he did not know what the future held. That left him with a much bleaker outcome on his life.

“Alright man,” Dean slid back into the car in order to remove the keys. “Let’s get you inside and get you warm.”

“Okay,” Castiel agreed, letting himself out of the car and following Dean to their room. It was not the nicest of rooms but it had two beds and blankets, something Castiel was looking forward to crawling under.

“Why don’t you go take a hot shower,” Dean suggested, pointing towards the bathroom. “I will go and see if I can find us something to eat.”

“I would like that very much,” Castiel nodded, his hand resting against his stomach. Just the mention of food made his stomach growl an ungodly sound. Dean chuckled, but if he only knew how hungry Castiel truly was. His vessel, well now his body, had not eaten anything in months. It was beyond starving to death.


	3. Chapter 3

Castiel stood in the shower motionless as the hot water ran down his ice cold body. At first it hurt but that only lasted for a few short minutes, then it felt like life was coursing through him once again. It was not enough to give him hope for the future but enough to give him hope for another day. As long as he could stay warm, how bad could things get?

As the water turned from hot to lukewarm, Castiel decided that it was time to get out and see if Dean had arrived with food. Castiel had dreamed of food the entire time he was in the shower, outside of appreciating the heat of every drop that landed against his pale skin. He had never realized how pale he was underneath his clothes for he had no need to remove them until now.

Castiel wrapped a towel around his waist and reached for his clothes. They were still as cold as ice and he knew that he could not put them back on right away. He would need to find a heater in the room to put them near.

“I seem to be lacking in things to wear,” Castiel admitted to Dean as soon as he exited the bathroom. Before anything more could be said, Castiel noticed the food sitting on the table and he could not help himself. Soon he was sitting down, the towel forgotten and falling around the chair as he worked as much food into his mouth as possible. “Oh, this is lovely Dean. I was so hungry.”

Dean stared at his now naked friend, unsure of what to do. He did not want to take away from the pleasure Castiel was having eating but he was also not sure how to handle seeing Castiel naked. Though Dean had to admit to himself that Castiel’s body was very nice to look at.

“Fuck,” Dean shook his head, turning away from Castiel. He had not just thought about how nice his friend looked naked. That did not happen.

“What is it Dean?” Castiel stopped eating, concerned for Dean. “Did something happen?”

“Here,” Dean got up from the table and pulled a pair of flannel pajama pants out of his duffle. He walked over and handed them to Castiel. “Why don’t you put these on?”

It was at this point that Castiel realized that he was completely naked. Embarrassment flooded his face in a bright red color. He had made a fool of himself in front of his friend, the only one he had at the moment. Except for Sam, he was pretty certain that Sam was currently still his friend as well.

“I am so sorry Dean,” Castiel grabbed the pants and rushed into the bathroom. Quickly drying himself off and putting them on. It took him a while to come back into the room. He waited for the flush to evaporate before venturing out and dealing with the current situation. “I was just so hungry and my clothes were so cold. I did not mean to be naked in front of you Dean.”

“No sweat man,” Dean laughed away the awkwardness. “It is not like I have not seen a naked man before. Not like I sought it out or anything, these things just happen. You know?”

“I am sure that I do not,” Castiel cocked his head to the side.

“How about we finish eating?” Dean suggested, sitting back down at the table and pointing to Castiel’s seat. “We can talk about what happened.”

“Okay,” Castiel took his seat, this time slowly working toward his food. He almost could not eat anymore. The food he had previously stuffed in his face, along with the embarrassment that followed, had turned his stomach into a knotted mess.

“What happened man?” Dean jumped right into getting an explanation out of Castiel. Castiel was not sure what to tell him, he knew that Dean would be angry if he knew the truth. Dean had a way of taking things harder than they needed to be.

“The angels gave me two choices,” Castiel cut to the chase. If he was going to tell Dean the truth, he was just going to come out and tell him as he had never really been someone who beat around the bush for too long. It was a waste of time and currently, Castiel did not have as much time left as he once had. “I could remain an angel or I could become human and live a human life.”

“And you chose human I am assuming,” Dean gave Castiel a confused look, one that he was expecting. “Why?”

“Because it was the better option,” Castiel answered truthfully. Being an angel was all that he had ever known but it did not give him the only thing he ever truly wanted.

“How could being human ever be the best possible option?” Dean was almost angered by how stupid Castiel was sounding. What kind of angel would choose to be human?

“You,” Castiel hung his head down, keeping his eyes on his food, unable to make eye contact with Dean. This was the part where he knew Dean was going to become angry. “I chose to be human because of you.”

“Me?” Dean sat back in his chair and Castiel could hear the tone in his voice dropping. Soon Dean was up on his feet, standing not too far from Castiel. “I am why you chose to be human? Why?”

“They told me that if I were to stay an angel,” Castiel finally allowed himself to look his friend in the eye. “I would never be able to see you again Dean.”

“What is wrong with you?” Dean finally became angry, just as Castiel had predicted. “If you gave up being an angel just because of me, you are stupid.”

“I am stupid?” Castiel rose to his feet and became face to face with Dean. His hands were clenched at his side and anger overtook him as well. He stepped forward, causing Dean to step back a few steps until his back was against the wall. “You are the one that is stupid. You are the one who believes that he doesn’t deserve to be loved. You are the one who cannot see how amazing you are. You are stupid Dean, because you cannot see for one minute that maybe I choose to become human because I love you and that to me was more important than being an angel.”

Castiel was now inches from Dean. His body was hyperventilating and he could not seem to get himself to calm down. He hated being human but he did it for Dean. Dean could at least appreciate what he had done for him, instead of calling him stupid.

“Everything I love Cas,” Dean’s voice broke and for a moment, he sounded like a small child. “Everything I love dies.”

Castiel was about to argue with Dean yet again and make some kind of point, a point that was lost as soon as Dean grabbed a hold of his sides and pulled him against his body. There was a moment of hesitation but soon Dean’s lips were pressed firmly against Castiel’s. His first instinct was to pull away but instead he melted against Dean, kissing him back so hard it hurt his mouth.

The kisses were sloppy at first. Though Castiel had been kissed a few times before, he was far from good at it and this time, he had no confidence. Maybe before had been easy because he did not care for the person the way he did for Dean. He loved Dean but now he wondered if he truly loved Dean, in a way beyond just a friend.

“Dean,” Castiel pulled away from the kiss but not away from Dean’s body. “Are you sure this is what you want?”

“Please don’t ruin this,” Dean all but begged and Castiel stopped talking. He let Dean pull him in again. Dean’s lips were hot against his own, like fire without the pain of burning. Castiel wanted more and Dean gave it to him, pushing against Castiel’s mouth with his tongue. Castiel did not fight him, he opened his mouth just enough to let Dean’s tongue enter and begin to explore.

Dean worked his tongue around Castiel’s mouth, licking and sucking at Castiel’s tongue. Castiel moaned against Dean’s lips and it made Dean’s cock hard as a rock. His angel, though he was no longer an angel, had never sounded so good to him. He wanted to keep causing him to make those noises. Dean pushed himself away from the wall and pushed Castiel backwards onto one of the beds. It was loud and springy, and for some reason that made Dean even more excited.

Dean moved away from Castiel’s mouth, though Castiel protested with a whiny growl. Dean bit at his lip with a smile before leaning down and running open mouthed, wet kisses along Castiel’s jawline and down his neck. When he reached the soft spot between Castiel’s neck and his shoulder, Dean bit down, not hard enough to break the skin but just hard enough to get a slight yelp out of his angel. Castiel writhed beneath him, clenching the bedspread tight between his fingers.

“Mmm,” Dean moaned against Castiel’s skin as he kissed further down, flicking his tongue over Castiel’s nipple and then sucking it between his teeth. Castiel moaned right along with Dean, his eyes closed tightly, trying not to be too loud, though Castiel was not sure why he was concerned about his volume.

Dean moved to Castiel’s other nipple, repeating what he had done to the first one. He could feel Castiel’s cock harden and Dean was pleased with himself. Never in a million years would he have imagined getting a man hard, just as much as he never would have imagined how hard he would be because of it. He knew that he was not gay but in this moment, none of that really seemed to matter. All that mattered was that Castiel was laid out beneath him and Dean was going to do whatever he could to make the angel happy.

Chills formed along Castiel’s body, every hair standing on end as Dean moved his lips down Castiel’s stomach and to the skin leading to his pelvic bones. Dean’s pajama bottoms held lazily to Castiel’s hips, a little too big but not big enough to fall off on their own. Dean looked up at Castiel who was looking down at him with wide innocent eyes. Castiel nodded, giving Dean the permission that he sought to remove the angel’s pants.

Dean gently pulled at the pajama bottoms, sliding them off of Castiel, freeing his hardened cock. Castiel groaned and Dean’s cock twitched against his pants, begging to be set free just the same. But this was not about him, this was about his angel, the man who gave up all that he ever was just to be in his life.

Once Castiel’s pants were lying on the floor, Dean kissed at his ankle, running his tongue around the bone. Slowly he worked up from that bone, kissing up the inside of Castiel’s leg until he reached his thigh. Castiel pulled away as Dean’s lips skimmed over the sensitive part of his thigh that had never been touched. The area of skin that had not felt anything was now overloaded with senses and left him writhing.

Dean lightly nibbled at the sensitive skin causing Castiel to whimper and try to pull away again. Dean reached up, taking the angel by the hips and holding him firmly against the bed. Castiel continued to fight and Dean knew that his angel was strong enough to break free. The simple fact that he did not break free was enough information for Dean. Castiel wanted this. He wanted Dean’s lips pressed against the skin between his legs.

“Do you want me?” Dean brought his head up and looked up at Castiel.

“Yes,” Castiel whimpered out. He was not ready for Dean to stop kissing him. His overheated skin ached for Dean, who was suspended above him and not against him. “Please.”

“Mmm,” Dean moaned, caressing the outsides of Castiel’s thighs. “I love the sound of you begging. Beg me Cas.”

“Dean please,” Castiel reached down, running his finger along Dean’s bottom lip. “Please don’t stop. Please.”

Dean let out of deep growl and returned to kissing the inside of Castiel’s thighs. Dean kissed up along the creases on Castiel’s legs and then moved in, licking over Castiel’s balls. His angel let out a moan and arched his hips up, pushing his balls into Dean’s mouth. Dean opened his mouth, sucking them in and rolling his tongue around them.

“Do it again,” Dean begged as he pulled his mouth away from Castiel’s balls and kissed the base underneath Castiel’s cock. “Beg.”

“Please Dean,” Castiel begged, arching his hips back up, “Please don’t stop.”

Dean quickly licked up the length of Castiel’s cock before Castiel had even finished his begging. He could not wait a moment longer to have Castiel in his mouth. He licked around the tip, tasting the saltiness of Castiel’s pre-cum. It was leaking out and Dean moaned as it hit his tongue. Soon Dean had Castiel’s entire cock in his mouth, bobbing his head up and down steadily. Castiel reached down and pulled at Dean’s hair, moaning, almost screaming Dean’s name.

“Oh Dean,” Castiel bucked his hips into Dean’s mouth, fucking it. “Dean I think I-I...uhh..am going to cum.”

Dean growled against Castiel’s cock, pulling up to the tip and then pushing himself all the way back down around it, the tip hitting his throat. Moments later, Dean felt the warmth of Castiel’s cum coating the back of his throat as Cas arched up and yelled his name as his orgasm ripped through him. His first instinct was to gag but he fought back against the sensation, letting it run down his throat. Once Castiel was done, he collapsed against the bed; Dean letting Castiel’s cock slip from his mouth, Castiel twitching at the over-sensitivity.

Dean kissed back up Castiel’s body taking Castiel’s mouth against his own. He shared the saltiness of Castiel with him and Castiel groaned against him.

“Thank you Dean,” Castiel all by cried against his mouth.


	4. Chapter 4

Castiel and Dean laid in bed for a while before Dean sat himself up. He turned to Castiel and grabbed his hand, lifting him up and pulling him from the bed. He dragged him into the bathroom to get the both of them cleaned up. Castiel realized what was taking place but he was not having any of it. This was not over. He was not going to let Dean go unsatisfied.

Castiel let go of Dean’s hand and grabbed at his hip, turning him around. He pushed Dean back against the sink and claimed Dean’s mouth. Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel, pulling him even closer against him until there was no more room between them. They kissed and bit and sucked at each other’s mouths for what felt like hours before Castiel finally pulled back. He brought his hands up and pulled Dean’s shirt over his head. He was then pressed skin against skin with Dean, kissing him again.

Soon his kisses moved away from Dean’s mouth and began to work down his neck, sucking and biting along the way. Dean moaned and his skin vibrated against Castiel’s mouth, forcing him to moan as well. Castiel had been in sexual situations before but now he felt like he never had. He felt like a virgin. Thankfully Dean showed signs of enjoyment. That was enough to keep Castiel going, though he felt like he was doing it all wrong.

Castiel kissed along Dean’s shoulder before dropping to his knees in front of Dean. He leaned forward, kissing Dean’s stomach around his belly button. Castiel licked at the skin which tasted musty, just like Dean smelled. That only served to make Castiel that much more excited. Castiel continued to kiss Dean’s stomach as he unbuttoned Dean’s jeans and pulled them down to his ankles. He then pulled Dean’s boxers down to join his pants.

Castiel mimicked what Dean had done to him. Kissing at the inside of his thighs, nibbling at the skin. Dean moaned loudly, holding himself up on the sink to stop his legs from giving out beneath him. Dean had been in these situations many times but never had he wanted to cum so fast, Castiel had not even touched his cock at this point and it was ready to explode.

“Dean,” Castiel pulled away from Dean and looked up at him. “Will you do something for me?”

“Anything,” Dean groaned, wanting to push Castiel’s mouth back to his skin. “I will do anything for you.”

“Talk me through this,” Castiel tried to hide his look of embarrassment. “I have never done anything like this before and I don’t want to mess up.”

“You won’t mess up,” Dean tried to reassure him. “I promise you will do just fine.”

“Please?” Castiel begged, the sound making Dean’s body tense up with pleasure. “Please help me.”

“Kiss at my thighs again,” Dean instructed, pulling Castiel’s head back into him. Castiel did as he was told, running kisses along Dean’s inner thighs, “Now run your lips up the length of my cock.”

Castiel did as he was told, continuing to kiss up Dean’s thighs, against his balls and then stopping at the base of Dean’s cock. He took a deep breath and then slowly ran kisses up the length of Dean’s cock. It twitched against his lips and let his tongue out to lick up the rest of the way. Dean moaned, letting his hands drop away from Castiel’s head and fall to his sides. “Yes.”

Castiel licked his tongue over the tip of Dean’s cock, pre-cum beginning to run out. He rubbed his lips against the wetness, smearing it over the tip of Dean’s cock. Dean groaned, grabbing ahold of the counter as he continued to watch Cas. Castiel then took the tip of Dean’s cock into his mouth and sucked lightly.

“Yes,” Dean moaned again. “You are doing amazing.”

Castiel felt a wave of confidence take over him as he took more and more of Dean’s cock into his mouth. He would take another inch and then pull back, running his tongue along the tip before pushing back down, only this time a little further. He continued this motion until all of Dean’s cock was down his throat.

“I want to fuck your mouth,” Dean groaned. “Is that okay with you?”

Castiel moaned around Dean’s cock which he took as a yes. Dean reached down and grabbed the back of Castiel’s head, pulling it down the length of his cock and holding him into place. Dean then began to move his hips back and forth, fucking his cock in and out of Castiel’s mouth. His balls tightened as he hit the back of Castiel’s throat over and over again.

“Grab my ass,” Dean instructed as he continued to fuck into his angel’s mouth. Castiel did as he was told and reached up with both hands, clutching Dean’s ass and digging his fingers into the skin.

“Oh fuck,” Dean moaned loudly, throwing his head back and closing his eyes as he continued to buck his hips up. “Yes Cas, baby, just like that.”

Dean’s thrust became deeper and harder but his speed slowed down. A few more thrusts and then Dean stilled in Castiel’s mouth as he shot his cum down Castiel’s throat. Castiel tried to swallow it all but there was so much of it that it leaked out the sides of his mouth and down his chin.

Dean pulled his cock out, letting it drop down. Castiel leaned forward and kissed the tip, causing it to twitch from the sensation. Dean pulled Castiel up and slammed his mouth against his angel’s, licking up all the cum that had broken free.

“Do you regret it?” Dean asked Castiel, finally pulling away.

“What we just did?” Castiel asked, not sure what Dean meant completely.

“No,” Dean shook his head, reaching for a wash cloth. “Becoming human.”

“Oh,” Castiel looked at Dean and then looked at himself in the mirror. His head was a mess and his skin was flushed, he looked like he had just been through a wonderful kind of disaster. “Not even a little.”

Dean and Castiel cleaned themselves up and then made their way back into the room. Dean quickly jumped into his bed, pulling the covers over his body. Castiel moved for the other bed, pulling the covers back as well.

“Stop,” Dean pulled back the covers on the other side of his bed.

“Are you sure?” Castiel asked, not wanting to put Dean into any more situations that he was not prepared for.

“I am sure,” Dean smiled at Castiel and tapped at the bed. “Now get in here.”

Castiel climbed into Dean’s bed and allowed himself to be what Dean called ‘the little spoon.’ Dean’s breath evened out and he fell asleep before Castiel, so Cas turned and watched him sleep. His beautiful hunter. Everything that Castiel had done in the last few years was for Dean. He had died for Dean, he had given up everything he had ever known for Dean. He regretted none of it. Dean was worth more than he knew and Castiel was going to prove it to him, even if it took the rest of what little life he had left.


	5. Chapter 5

Dean and Castiel grabbed coffee and breakfast to go in the morning and were soon on their way back to the bunker. Dean had already been awake and getting ready to go when Castiel woke up and Dean had not really said anything since. As much as Castiel did not like the quiet ride home, he was not going to push Dean to talk to him. He knew that what happened the night before was against everything that Dean knew that he was. This had to be confusing for Dean and Castiel was not going to push him to face any of this right away. Castiel was not even sure what any of this was.

Castiel finally decided that what took place was a one-time thing. Dean felt like he owed something to Castiel for giving up being an angel for him. Dean was just trying to say thank you in the only way that he could. Dean was much better with actions than he was with words most of the time. As long as they were friends, that was all that Castiel needed.

When they arrived back at the bunker, they quickly fill Sam in with what happened. They leave out the parts that were sexual, Sam did not need to know that much, it was not important to the situation; It was not important at all really. It was just something that had happened.

“Well I hate to rain on your human parade,” Sam gave Castiel a smile. “But I have a case for us all. Appears to be a vampire, so it shouldn’t be too hard. It’s about a half a day’s drive.”

“I could go for some beheadings,” Dean agreed overly eager. “I will get a bag together.”

“You need some clothes Cas?” Sam asked, picking up his laptop.

“No,” Castiel shook his head. “I think I am going to sit this one out. I am tired. I will wait here.”

“Are you sure man?” Sam asked.

“Yes,” Castiel nodded. “You and Dean go. I will hold down the fort as you so call it.”

“Okay,” Sam smiled at Castiel. “Make yourself at home.”

Before Sam and Dean left, they showed Castiel to an empty room. Empty in the sense that it had no life in it. There was a bed, made up with blankets and a pillow. There was a dresser, devoid of clothing and a desk in the corner with a chair, nothing sitting upon it. It was now Castiel’s nothing. It was up to him to make it something. He had never had possessions. Now was his chance to have things that belonged to him. But he had no idea where to start.

Castiel tried his best to make himself at home. He explored the bunker more, though he had already seen a good deal of it. In his searching, he found some movies and decided that he was going to get himself acquainted. He knew they were Dean’s because the majority of them were horror movies. He tried his hardest to show no fear but there was no one around to watch, so he allowed for himself to jump every now and again.

One thing Castiel learned from all of these movies was that there was a happy ending. Sure many people died and it was a long journey, but someone survived. Someone killed the monster and they got to live their life; they got to live on and find love. Love. That was another thing he noticed in these movies. There was always someone that was in love. Castiel doubted that he was ever truly going to find love. He loved Dean but was that the love you saw in movies? He did not expect Dean to ever love him the way these people appeared to love each other.

Was this worth it? Had Castiel made the right decision? He could have remained an angel, his life would be limitless. He could go anywhere that he wanted, whenever he wanted. He was surrounded by his family, brothers and sisters that he loved with all of who he was. Now he was human. He had no family. All he had left was Dean and Sam and he was not even sure that he had that. He feared that Dean was going to push him away after what happened. He was going to be without everything.


	6. Chapter 6

“Sam?” Dean turned to his brother for a moment before turning his eyes back onto the road. They had finished up their case and they were headed home. Sam was right to assume it was vampires. There were five of them setting up shop. It took them only an evening to track them down and take care of the problem. Now it was back to the bunker. Back to Castiel.

“Yeah Dean,” Sam gave his full attention to his brother. Something was off with Dean and Sam knew that. Hopefully Dean was not going to keep him shut out. Dean holding things in never worked well for anyone.

“Can I ask you a question?” Dean asked, eyes dead on the road. “For a friend?”

“Sure Dean,” Sam held back a laugh. “You can ask me a question … for a friend.”

“So this friend,” Dean was well aware that Sam knew that Dean was the friend but it made it easier telling himself that he had no idea. “He is as straight as this road is long. He loves the ladies, I mean, he really loves the ladies.”

“Well the ladies are nice,” Sam shook his head but Dean was so focused on the road that he could not see Sam at all. “How is that a problem for him?”

“Well you see this friend,” Dean tilted his head to the side, images of Castiel, writhing beneath him flashing through his mind. “Even though he is not gay, he fell in love with a man. I mean, he didn’t even think that it was possible. Is it possible? Can a straight man fall in love with a man?”

“You can’t help who you love Dean,” Sam turned to his brother. “I mean, straight and gay are just terms that people made up to label people. People are just people and they fall in love.”

“So what should I tell my friend then?” Dean finally looked over at him.

“I think you go to him,” Sam put his hand out his brother’s shoulder. “And you tell him that you love him too.”

Dean swerved the car, almost putting it into the ditch beside the road. Once he got the car steady, he pulled it over to the side of the road. “What in the world are you talking about Sam?”

“I am talking about you and Castiel,” Sam shook his head at his brother. “You think that no one sees? The moment Castiel pulled you out of hell, you loved him and he loved you. It’s about time that you figured it out.”

“I am not in love with Castiel,” Dean tried to lie but even he did not believe himself.

“Okay Dean,” Sam shrugged his shoulders. He was not going to argue with his brother any longer.

Dean pulled the car back onto the road. He thought about what had taken place the other night in the hotel room and he felt himself get excited. He was not supposed to be getting excited over Castiel. Dean was not gay. What happened was a one-time thing. Right?


	7. Chapter 7

By the time, Sam and Dean, arrived back at the bunker it was after midnight. Both were exhausted and all they wanted to do was get to bed and hope for a good day tomorrow. As they entered the bunker to do just that, they noticed that all the lights were on. Not that they had a light bill but still, if you were not in a room, the proper thing was to turn the light off. Castiel obviously had a lot to learn.

“Cas?” Sam called out but there was no response.

Dean, getting worried, quickly made his way to Castiel’s room. That is where he found Castiel, curled up in a ball, on his bed, asleep. Dean did not want to wake him but he was worried about what had taken place. A new life as a human was going to take some adjusting to.

              “Cas,” Dean sat down on the edge of the bed and shook Castiel.

              “Don’t kill me,” Castiel jumped up and pressed himself against the wall, his eyes wide with fear. It took him a moment to realize that the other people in the room were Dean and Sam. He relaxed but only slightly.

              “Who is going to kill you?” Dean questioned, looking around the room, hoping for an answer.

              “Michael,” Castiel’s voice let out a squeak.

              “Your brother Michael?” Sam asked, stepping in through the doorway. “Michael is dead Cas.”

              “No, not that Michael,” Castiel relaxed more against the bed, his face flushed with embarrassment. “Michael … Myers.”

              Dean laughed loudly. He did not want to make fun of Castiel for being scared but he could not help himself. Castiel, an ex badass angel, feared a fictional man in some horror movie. A lot was funny to Dean in life but this was like icing on the cake, cause icing on pie was gross.

              “Michael Myers is coming to kill you,” Sam repeated, shaking his head before turning around. “I am going to bed.”

              Sam was gone before either of them could tell him goodnight, though Castiel was not even paying attention to the fact that he had left. He was still trying to come down from the nightmare he was just having.

              “So, I am assuming you watched horror movies while we were away,” Dean laughed again, this time at how cute Castiel looked right now.

              “I wanted to see why you like them some much,” Castiel admitted.

              “And did you figure it out?” Dean wondered. He was kind of interested in the answer himself. With all the stuff they do on a daily basis, you would think that horror movies would be avoided, but he ate them up, especially the classics.

              “Only that I think you have some problems,” Castiel smiled at Dean, he was trying to lighten the situation for himself. The smile Dean offered back seemed to help.

              “Yes, well,” Dean shrugged his shoulders, “we can’t all be perfect.”

              “I have no things,” Castiel changed the subject quickly, his eyes flicking over his room.

              “You will get things,” Dean promised. “It will just take some time.”

              “I do not have things,” Castiel repeated, pulling himself to sit on the edge of the bed next to Dean. “I have nothing human. I have no clothes, except for the one’s I have been wearing for years, which now must be cleaned. I have no photographs or ways to show memories. I have no family. I belong to no one.”

              “Stop right there,” Dean put his hand on top of Castiel’s. “You have family. Sam and I may not be much but we are your family.”

              “Thank you, Dean,” Castiel gave him a weak smile, but all he really felt like to them was a burden. Now that he was human, he was going to be the worst thing for them.

              “And you do belong to someone,” Dean squeezed Castiel’s fingers with his own. “You belong to me.” Dean took a quick deep breath before continuing. What was he getting himself into? “That is … if you want to belong to me?”

              “I,” Castiel looked up and made eye contact with Dean, “would very much like that”

              “Good,” Dean breathed out just moments before his lips were pressed against Castiel’s.

              Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck as they kissed and began to pull him down on top of him but Dean pulled away. Castiel was not sure how to react in this situation. If Dean really did not want this, he was not going to force it upon him. Maybe Dean had not meant he wanted to continue having sexual relations with him, just that he belonged to him, and there would be kissing?

              “I am,” Castiel began to apologize.

              “Stop,” Dean cut him off before he could finish his sentence. “I want this. I just, I need to go get something really quick.”

              “Okay Dean,” Castiel nodded. “I will wait here.”

              Dean got up from the bed and disappeared. Castiel, though he felt the desire to follow him stayed where he was. He looked around his room, trying to use this time to think about something that he would want. It would have to be something that he could get. Not being an angel meant that he could not get crazy obscure things anymore. It would have to be something that he could buy with his own money. Money which he did not actually have.

              Twenty minutes had passed before Dean had returned to the room, a giant duffle bag in his hands. He tossed it down on the bed, a smile plastered across his face. Castiel was nervous about what that smile meant but he didn’t want the smile to go away. He loved when Dean smiled.

              “What is this?” Castiel finally asked, reaching for the bag.

              “I got you a few things,” Dean smiled. He pulled the bag toward him and opened it up, starting to pull things out. “This is a gun. This gun has gotten me through many serious situations. We will need to teach you how to shoot it, but when we go on hunts, it can be yours.”

              Dean looked over the gun and walked over to Castiel’s night stand and opened it up. He then put the gun inside and shut it. He would work on getting something better to put it in for Castiel later.

              “You are giving me a gun for protection and hunting?” Castiel questioned, cocking his head to the side.

              “Yes,” Dean laughed, reaching into the bag again. “And more.”

              Castiel had never been a child. He had watched many over the years, but had no idea what it was like to be one. So even though he did not know for sure, he assumed this is what a little kid felt like during Christmas time.

              “Here are some clothes.” Dean set down a pile of clothes on the bed. “Some jeans that are a little small for me and some shirts. Including this very awesome Led Zeppelin T-shirt.”

              Castiel reached out and grabbed the shirt, running his fingers over the fabric. He pulled it up to his face and smelled it for a moment. It smelled just like Dean. Castiel wanted to put it on that moment but he had a feeling that soon he would be taking clothes off anyways.

              “And this,” Dean pulled a picture frame out of the bag. It was a picture of him and Castiel from a few years back. Castiel was not even aware that a picture of him existed in this world and come to find out, Dean had one. He had a picture of them together. “Just so you can remember that you belong to someone.”

              Castiel stood up from the bed and walked over to Dean, wrapping his arms around his waist. He had been wrong all along. When he was watching movies earlier, he felt that he would never find love like people in movies have. He was glad that he was wrong. Though Dean had never said it to him, Dean had to love him to some degree or he would not be doing any of this for Castiel.

              “Thank you, Dean,” Castiel tilted his head up and kissed Dean lightly.

              “I have one more thing,” Dean admitted, walking them backwards towards the bed, his cheeks flashing a slight pink.

              “I am feeling rather,” Castiel smiled into Dean’s neck. “I believe the word is spoiled.”

              “Well don’t get too excited yet,” Dean pulled away from Castiel to reach into the bag and pull out two more items that were in the bag. Castiel’s eyes getting larger upon seeing what they were.

              “Is that?” Castiel began to ask, not even able to get to the words out.

              “Lube,” Dean held the lube up in one hand and held up a box of condoms in the other. “And condoms.”

              “Oh,” Castiel knew what this meant and his stomach sank. Not that he did not want this but he was nervous. He had only ever had sex once and it was with a woman. He got the concept of how it worked with men but he was nervous that he was going to disappoint Dean.

              “If this is too much, we don’t have to do anything,” Dean set them down on the night stand and took Castiel back into his arms. “I do not want to make you do anything that you don’t want to do.”

              “Please,” Castiel whispered in Dean’s ear. He was scared but he also knew that he wanted this and he wanted it with Dean. He also knew how much Dean loved to hear him beg. “Please fuck me Dean, please.”

              “Fuck,” Dean growled, pulling Cas into him and then pushing his back down against the bed. Dean was quick to crawl on top of Castiel, straddling his legs over Castiel’s hips. “Again.”

              “I need you to fuck me, Dean,” Castiel took it a step further. “Please, Dean. I need you.”

              Dean leaned down and took Castiel’s mouth into his, biting, licking and sucking at his lips. There were moments when Castiel could barely breathe but it was an amazing feeling. By the time Dean had finally pulled away, their lips were bright red and swollen. Castiel took note of the way that they tingled but he only wanted more.

              Reaching up, Castiel pushed at the bottom of Dean’s shirt, letting him know that he wanted Dean to pull it off. Dean did as he was silently instructed to do, he then leaned down to help Castiel out of his shirt as well. Leaning back down to kiss Castiel again, their bodies pressed together and Dean moaned loudly. The feel of Castiel’s skin against his own was truly an amazing feeling.

              Though Dean knew this would be Castiel’s first time having sex with a man, he could not bring himself to take anything slow. He had to have his hands and his mouth over every inch of Castiel’s body and Castiel seemed to have no problems with it based on the sounds that he was making as he pushed his body up to meet Dean every step of the way.

              Dean worked with Castiel to remove the rest of the clothes that they had been wearing before pushing Castiel against the bed, holding him down with his own body. “Are you sure you want this? We can wait if you need to wait.”

              “Dean,” Castiel growled against Dean’s mouth, causing Dean’s dick to twitch between then. “If you do not fuck me, I am going to fuck you.”

              “Mmm,” Dean moaned into Castiel’s mouth. “Neither of those sound like bad options.”

              “Please, Dean,” Castiel begged again, this time not meaning to. “I need you inside of me.”

              Dean wanted to make Castiel happy and give him everything that he wanted, everything that he needed. If Castiel said that he needed Dean, then that is just what Dean was going to give him. Part of him was scared about the steps that he was taking in his life and how he normally was not good at any of this, but he was going to try. He was going to do his best to make Castiel happy.

              Dean kissed Castiel a few more times before climbing off the bed and grabbing the supplies that he had brought with him. Moving back over to Castiel, he tossed the condoms on the bed beside him and flipped the cap of the lube open. He knew what he was doing, it was not like he had never had anal sex before but he was now more nervous than ever. He did not want to hurt Castiel.

              “Dean,” Castiel reached up and grabbed Dean’s hand. “You are not going to hurt me. I promise.”

              Dean was not sure how he did it, but he had read Dean’s mind completely. They always had this connection, so it was no surprise that it was still there, even after Castiel had lost his angel mojo.

              “Okay,” Dean finally relaxed a little.

              Dean poured some of the lube onto his fingers and crawled his way between Castiel’s legs. He decided now that rushing was not what he wanted to do. He wanted to take his time with Castiel, go slow. Dean kissed up Castiel’s thighs, as he slowly made his way up his body. Castiel groaned, heels digging down into the bed. Dean loved that he could make Castiel feel this way.

              “Dean,” Castiel growled, looking down at Dean between his legs. “Please. I can’t wait any longer. I need you inside of me.”

              “Impatient much?” Dean winked up as his angel and made his way further up between his arm.

              “Dean?” Castiel growled again but Dean shut him up quickly by pushing his finger against Cas’ rim.

              Castiel cried out in the most delicious ways as Dean rubbed his finger against Castiel. Once Castiel was writhing beneath him, Dean slipped his finger inside of him. Slowly, Dean worked his finger in and out of Castiel. Castiel moaned and pushed back against Dean, loudly by silently begging for more. Dean obliged, sliding a second finger in until he could get a third one. Dean wanted to push against his prostate but he wanted to save that moment for when he was in Castiel. He knew it could push him over the edge and that moment needed to be when Dean was buried inside of him.

              “Are you ready?” Dean asked for permission.

              “Yes,” Castiel’s words came out breathlessly. “Please fuck me Dean.”

              “So, sexy,” Dean growled as he slipped his fingers out of Castiel, causing him to whine. “And so, needy.”

              “Yes, Dean.” Castiel nodded his head frantically. “Needy. I need you inside of me Dean. I need you.”

              Dean reached for the lube again and put more onto his fingers. He then slicked up his cock, coating it the best that he could before pushing slowly into Castiel. Inch by inch he pushed in until he bottomed out completely. He then pulled back and slowly did it again.

              “Harder Dean,” Castiel begged, pulling his legs up toward his chest. “Please, fuck me harder.”

              “Fuck,” Dean groaned, increasing his speed. That is when it happened. That glorious moment that Dean had been waiting for. He had hit Castiel’s prostate, sending him over the edge.

              “Oh, Dean.” Castiel cried out loud as he came between them.

              “Yes,” Dean moaned, Castiel tightening around him.

              Dean’s thrusts became erratic. Watching Castiel come undone beneath him was the most incredible thing he had ever seen. He wanted to see it again. He needed to see it again.

              “Oh fuck,” Dean’s hips began to shutter as he came deep inside of Castiel.

              “Yes,” Castiel repeated until Dean collapsed on top of him.

              “That was,” Dean tried to find the words but he could not put a full sentence together.

              “Everything.” Castiel finished it for him and perfectly, in Dean’s opinion.

              “Yes,” Dean nodded his head in agreement. “That was everything. You are everything.”


End file.
